[Mb-civic] Jimi, Judi, and God Smoke Dope On The Fourth Of July

[Lyle K'ang]

...insane, refreshing, another door opened; hope you're laying down your bread crumbs to get back. :)


Lyle Kekahi K'ang, MBA/IM 
http://silomanagement.blogspot.com/
http://lyve-oasis.com

-- "richard haase" <hotprojects at nyc.rr.com> wrote:
i first got really stoned on the fourth of july and im sure my pot man is
off today; and im running out; only four roaches left to make one thin joint
first got really stoned july 4, 1977
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Cheeseburger" <maxfury at granderiver.net>
To: "mb-civic" <mb-civic at islandlists.com>
Sent: Monday, July 04, 2005 2:22 AM
Subject: [Mb-civic] Jimi, Judi, and God Smoke Dope On The Fourth Of July


> Jimi, Judi, and God Smoke Dope On The Fourth Of July
>
>
>
>
>
> Hi, kids...
> Hi, God...
> Is your Uncle Cheese here..?
> No, he's out poppin' bottle rockets...
> Oh, crap, I had something for him...
> We'll take it...
> Well, it's just for him...
> What is it..?
> Here...
> Oh, cool, a dime bag...
> That's a twenty...
> You're kiddin'...
> No, really...
> It looks like the fuzz off a rat's butt...
> It's a full 20...
> Give us a break, if you want to hustle Uncle Cheeseburger, that's fine
with
> us, but we're not buying what you're sellin'...
> Ok, look, I'll give it to you for a dime since he's not here and I need
the
> cash...
> Whatya gonna buy, chewing gum...?
> Haha, very funny...
> Ok, Judi, the cricket cage, under the bed...
> Judi reaches under the little bed in the cricket cage and carefully pulls
> out several flattened bills...
> Here... 10...
> Cool, here ya go...
> Is it any good...?
> Of course...
> Let's try it...
> Ok...
> Ok...
> Jimi, Judi and God sit down on the carpet while God rolls one from his own
> stash...
> Ffftttssssshhhhfffftttt........ here...
> Cool, fffsshhhhhhhffffffttt.....  here...
> Ffffsssshhhhhhhhtttffffff........... Oh, wow, cool...
> Told ya...
> Yeah....
> Say, God....
> Yes...?
> Uncle Cheese said you are like psychotic or schizophrenic or something...
> Heh, yeah, he's been sayin' that about me for years now...
> Is it true...?
> Of course not...
> Well, he said that anyone who would punish billions of people for
centuries
> for two naked people eating the wrong apple millions of years ago would
have
> to have a screw loose...
> He said that...?
> Yeah...
> Yeah......
> You tell him I said he's full of crap...
> Ok, God...  But that's what he said to tell you too...
> He said to tell me that too...?
> Yeah...
> Cocksucker...
> Hehe...
> Hehehe....
> Hehehehe.......
> Fffffffwwssshhhhhffffff......
> Fffffffwwssshhhhhffffff.........
> Fffffffwwssshhhhhffffff...........
> Yeah, and he also said that then after you did that, you left everybody in
> the hands of a bunch of religious, political, financial, and military nuts
> and moved to Oahu or somewhere and had little Hawaiin girls bring you
those
> little drinks with the tiny little umbrellas in them on the beach and just
> left everybody to suffer and die in misery at the hands of cutthroat
> assholes century after century...
> He said that too...?
> Yeah...
> Hehe...
> Hehehe....
> Hehehehe....
> Well....?
> Well what...?
> Is he right.....?
> Well, yeah, he's right...
> See, I told you...
> I know, I know, he's always right...  Here...
> Judi takes a small bill from Jimi and tucks it into her blouse...
> Did you turn Lot's wife into salt...?
> Aliens...
> Aliens...?
> Yeah....
> I knew it...
> The burning bush...?
> Aliens...
> Noah's ark...?
> Made it up...
> You made that one up...?
> Yeah, hehe...
> Hehehe....
> Hehehehe.....
> All the measurements for the temple, this many cubits of that, inner
> sanctums, gold from the people, etc....?
> Aliens...
> Again...?
> Yep...
> The different colored robes...?
> Aliens...
> All the plagues on the Egyptians...?
> I can't talk about that one, I signed a waiver with the Mossad...
> Oh, ok...
> The 40 years in the desert...?
> Aliens...
> The burning bush...?
> Aliens...
> The tower of Babel...?
> Ok, now that one was me, hey, they pissed me off, they worked really hard
at
> it, and I just got a little pissed at them...
> The great flood...?
> Mother Nature...
> Really......?
> Yeah....
> Jonah inside the whale...?
> Made it up...
> The burning bush...?
> That was me...
> Circumcision...?
> Hey, that was my wife's idea, blame her.....
> The power from the ark of the covenant...?
> Aliens...
> Pillar of smoke by day, pillar of fire by night..?
> Aliens...
> Aliens...?  All of those things by aliens...?
> Yeah, from the dark side of the moon...  They've been giving me trouble
for
> eons now...
> Ok....
> Then who is the devil...?
> An alien too....
> An alien...?
> Yeah, I keep him trapped on this planet...
> And you let him wreak havoc on people, with death, disease, war, famine,
etc
> etc etc...?
> Again, you'll have to talk to the Mossad about that...
> Oh, ok...
> How 'bout the parting of the red sea...
> Made it up...
> You made that one up too...?
> Yeah, well, hehe......
> Hehehe...
> Hehehehe.....
> ffffwwwwsshshhhhhhhfhffffffttttfffff......
> ffffwwwwsshshhhhhhhfhffffffttttfffff......
> ffffwwwwsshshhhhhhhfhffffffttttfffff......
> So, you just let assholes run loose on the planet creating death, misery,
> havoc, destruction, oblivion, etc...?
> Well, I step in now and then, but, hey, I just got tired of it all....
> And so you sit on a beach watching the waves coming in with a drink with a
> little umbrella in it....?
> Well, hey, I ran the place for a long time, but then the aliens showed up,
> the devil got out of hand, I had my hands full for eons dealing with them
> all, even God gets tired sometimes, Judi...
> Then Uncle Cheeseburger was right...  You just abandoned us to our own
> devices here in the face of evil, death, darkness and destruction...
> Well, not exactly...  I'm still hanging around here and there, I'm just
not
> sitting in any books that you've ever read that Men wrote about me...
> You could still just wave your hand and make everything everywhere better
> instantly though...?
> Of course...
> But you won't....?
> Hey, look, Adam and Eve pissed me off, allright...?
> But that was millions of years ago...  You made everyone else suffer for
two
> eggheads mistake a million years ago or something...
> Hey, they screwed up, don't look at me...
> So then Uncle Cheeseburger was right all along...
> About what...?
> About you being a really psychotic dickhead...
> He said that...?
> Yeah...
> Oh yeah..?  Then what did he say about the aliens and the devil...?
> He said they were psychotic dickheads too...
> Oh, ok....
> Ok....
> Well, kids, I gotta go, another bag, another dollar....  Tell Cheese I
> dropped by and if he wants me to beep me....
> Ok, God, thanks for stoppin' by...
> My pleasure.....
> Bye, God...
> Bye, God....
> Later, kids....
>
>
> He dresses kind of funny doesn't he...?
> Yeah, hehe...
> Hehehe....
> Nice stuff, though...
> Yep....
> We forgot to ask him about Jesus, didn't we...?
> Yeah...
> Hehe....
> Hehehe....
> Well, I'm tired, Jimi...
> Me, too...
> Sweet dreams....
> Sweet dreams......
>
>
>
> The cricket goes over all the passages of the bible all night long with a
> flashlight under his blanket writing aliens, god, or devil by each one
with
> his colored magic markers...  As the dawn breaks the morning of the 4th of
> July, the cricket emerges, liberated, born again with a new understanding
of
> the universe, realizing at last that only God himself can sit on a beach
> with drinks with the little umbrellas in them watching the waves come in
and
> go out as the world continues to be turned to crap by ruthless humans,
> aliens, and the devil.
>
>
>
> Is he dead, Jimi...?
> No, no, I think he's just in a coma, Judi...
> Oh, no, oh no, waaahhh....!!!!
> Ok, ok, shhh, shhh, I think he's going to be allright...  Look, see, he
just
> fell asleep under his blanket and some acid from one of the flashlight
> batteries burned part of one of his antenna's off....
> Oh, great, thank goodness....
> Yeah....  Lucky we put up that little smoke detector in his cricket
cage...
> Yeah...
> That was Uncle Cheeseburger's idea, you know...
> Yeah, I remember...
> Ok, yawwnn, night, Jimi...
> Night, Judi....
>
>
>
>
> The cricket begins to softly chirp in its cage....
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Cheeseburger
>
> .
>
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