The Pope And The King At War
Feast of the Dedication of the Basilica of Our Saviour,
the Church of St. John Lateran
SETTING:
Papal audience chamber. The Lateran.
(LOUIS enters.)
LOUIS
Holiness.
(Kisses HER hand.)
JOAN
Cardinal Nicholas intimates that you have some issue with the Papal States, Louis.
LOUIS
Issue?
JOAN
As our Treasury was debauched by the looting of your soldiers,
I am compelled to begin cultivation of my fields.
LOUIS
My soldiers are garrisoned there.
JOAN
You have been crowned. You are leaving, save for a small
defensive force to protect the Lateran.
LOUIS
Whatever gave you that idea?
JOAN
Lucius, Nicholas -- leave us.
(THEY do.)
There is no reason for your troops to remain.
LOUIS
Oh, but there is. Word has reached France about your efforts to feed the poor.
Now my peasants have gotten some foolish notion that they should be fed too.
Our harvests were meager this year. I need the Papal States to feed my people.
JOAN
Since when have you cared a whit about them?
LOUIS
Oh, I don't really. But if they revolt, I'll have to kill them all,
and then I won't have anyone to be Emperor of.
JOAN
I command you to remove your troops and withdraw to France.
LOUIS
Joan, please -- it doesn't suit you.
JOAN
I am the Pope!
LOUIS
And I am the Pope's lover.
JOAN
Were. Get off my land.
LOUIS
I will not. And if you persist, there will be war.
JOAN
Then let there be war.
(LOUIS laughs.)
LOUIS
I confess, Joan, this situation far outstrips any lustful fantasy I might have concocted.
The white suits you so.
JOAN
Stop it.
LOUIS
Perhaps I shall have to share your little secret with the Cardinals.
JOAN
Then do so. But your own coronation as Emperor will be called into question.
LOUIS
Quite the little statesman you've become, Joan.
JOAN
Get out.
SETTING
JOAN's apartments at the Lateran. Later that night.
LOUIS
Joan, Joan, Joan. Never ask a boy to do a man's work.
JOAN
There are times you revolt me.
LOUIS
You will have your chance to attack me soon enough.
JOAN
Can you not simply leave and have done?
LOUIS
I thought perhaps to have a last stab at diplomacy was worth some small effort.
It does not excite me to see you defeated in the field.
JOAN
Louis -- you are such a man. And that is the best and worst to be said of you.
LOUIS
And what of you? Do you not tire of this charade?
Can you really tell me that there are not days when you long to
let your hair grow wild and free, to dress in fine silks, in ermines,
to love a husband passionately and openly? Do you not want children, Joan?
(HE begins touching her.)
JOAN
Do not do this.
LOUIS
Stop this war now. Think of the lives you could spare.
Give up your title and come home and be my queen.
JOAN
You would marry me?
LOUIS
Think of us ruling this Empire together. You've a talent for it, I'll admit.
And our sons who will rule after we are gone.
JOAN
And what of our daughters? What will they rule, Louis?
LOUIS
Later, my sweet.
JOAN
No, Louis. You will find some girl at Court to be the brood mare for your stable.
Take care that she be none too bright. She'll mind your whores and your boys all the less.
LOUIS
I will not ask again.
JOAN
God's will be done.
LOUIS
I shall collect my party and be gone.
(LOUIS crosses to the door and turns)
I believed you really loved me.
JOAN
Goodbye, Louis.
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