[Mb-civic] On the proposed extension of UK licensing (drinking) hours.

[Alexander Harper]

There are worries in the UK that the extension of licensing hours will lead to increased alcohol fuelled thuggery, violence, vandalism etc

Herewith a thought from the FT.



Bar room philosophy 

A tattooed thug enters a pub and greets a friend:

Thug 1: How goes it, mon vieux?

Thug 2: Alas, I have ennui.

Thug 1: I am desolated. Is it that your studies of Sartre have deprived your life of meaning?

Thug 2: The knowledge that my existence is essentially pointless has indeed alloyed the quotidian pleasure I once derived from stealing cars and following The Millwall. But beyond that, I have been devastated by the comments of the judges. A Gauloise? 

Thug 1: Thanks. What do those fascists say?

Thug 2: They say government plans to create a continental-style café culture in the UK by extending licensing hours will fuel binge drinking and anti-social behaviour. 

Thug 1: Salauds! Those judges get tipsy on digestifs and dress in women’s stockings like that nincompoop Michel Foucault. What do they know of the pleasures of the proletariat?

Thug 2: Nothing, naturally.

Thug 1: Besides, it is too late, mon brave. The new laws, they are already in place. Patron! Two cognacs if you please! A toast! To the liberation of licensing hours! Salut!

Thug 1: Salut! And now it is Happy Hour, when lager costs 79p per pint.

Thug 2: So, my friend, there is nothing to stop us getting bladdered and starting a punch-up?

Thug 1: Formidable! What better way to épater those bourgeois judges!


AlBaraka


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