[Mb-civic] Charles Kennedy + the UK Lib Dems

[Alexander Harper]

Well, I know that this may all seem a bit rarified to all of you over there living in the world's only hyper-power but back in the little UK we are having our little elections and it appears as if Charles Kennedy (no relation to yours although he and Teddy's dissected livers would probably look fairly similar), the leader of our Liberal Democrats, the 3rd horse in the 2 horse race, might just end up with the balance of power in a hung parliament. Then you will all be pleased that I sent you this email and will be able to be interviewed for your views about the UK election results by CNN et al on the street without looking blank and having to open and shut your mouths like mystified goldfish (or like Charles Kennedy). It would be wonderful if he does well. He could not conceivably be as unpleasant as the other two (Blair/Howard).
AlBaraka

  

Kennedy’s Midas touch
>By Robert Shrimsley
>Published: April 14 2005 14:29 | Last updated: April 14 2005 15:36
>>
It is a public fact that bookmakers are offering the same odds on Charles Kennedy's newborn son becoming prime minister as they are on him achieving that goal. This seems grossly unfair. The lad is only a few days old and already he's being written off.

The Liberal Democrat leader himself returned to the campaign trail on Thursday for the launch of the party’s manifesto. He looked awful; dog tired and half asleep; he was terribly shaky on the detail and fluffed a number of his lines during the presentation. In other words being a father has not affected his performance at all.

And yet, here's the thing. It doesn't matter. The more he stumbles; the more human he looks. The more human he looks the more the voters like him.

Tony Blair and Michael Howard are expected to know the answer to every question about every tiny detail of their policies. If they get it wrong it is reported as a major gaffe.

When Charles Kennedy admits he hasn't the foggiest how one of his major tax plans will work, voters just admire his honesty. If there is an opposite of Catch-22, Charles Kennedy would be its principal exemplar.

For most voters the election is already a tedious distraction from Wayne Rooney's love life. It is seriously possible that the only event of the entire campaign which has even punctured their consciousness is Mr Kennedy's ascent into fatherhood.

How does he do it? The man has the Midas touch. Messrs Blair and Howard are slogging their guts out for every vote. He literally doesn't have to do anything (unless one counts standing in a delivery room shouting "breathe" as action) and his popularity soars. Indeed the less he does the more people like him.

One of Mr Kennedy's favourite mantras is that he "makes no apology for being a fully paid-up member of the human race". He likes a drink; he likes a cigarette - even if can't be seen smoking any more. He likes jokes, rock music and the hills of Scotland. In fact the only thing he doesn't seem to like is politics, which of course makes him uniquely popular in British politics.

Even though the last thing the country really wants is anyone normal as prime minister (as if anyone normal ever would be) as long as he is not actually in danger of becoming one his strategy is foolproof.

His predecessor was a political action man. Sir Paddy Ashdown was vigorous and serious. He started early and worked late. He redefined party policy, giving it a sharper left-wing edge.

Mr Kennedy starts late and leaves early and with a couple of notable exceptions has de-defined party policy. Yet under him the party has recorded its greatest successes for a nearly a century. The least serious leader in the party's history has brought the party to the very brink of seriousness.

Of course Mr Kennedy is not uninterested in politics. Fully paid-up members of the human race tend not to become MPs at 23. But whether by design or by luck, his persona has dovetailed perfectly with the party's needs at this time.

For the most part he has offered blurred leadership and blurred policy, but that is ideal when you are seeking to maximise your vote by attracting both disgruntled Labour and Tory voters.

So the launch of a manifesto is a tricky business. This is made even more complex by the presence around Mr Kennedy of clever, diligent traditional politicians like Vince Cable, the Treasury spokesman, who has actually gone so far as produce a fully costed programme for power.

This is a nightmare. Mr Kennedy is far happier with a few big ideas. His nifty but principled opposition to the Iraq war and the introduction of university tuition fees has been popular and afforded the party valuable definition.

But all this detailed policy stuff about bands for the new local income tax to which he finds the party committed is just way too nerdy for a fully paid-up member of the human race. So it was a recipe for disaster when journalists were allowed to ask him about the policy.

How much would a household have to be earning, asked one presumptuous hack, before the new local income tax meant they were worse off? It was terribly unfair, like asking some Network Rail station manager what time the next train arrives. You just can't expect these people to know these things.

Mr Kennedy looked panicked, he shot a glance across to his colleagues on the podium, muttering rather too loudly "£20,000?" The correct answer was in the region of £38,000; Mr Kennedy looked fascinated. Well you learn something every day, he seemed to be thinking.

The manifesto itself is similarly vague. Take the Lib Dem policy on Europe. The party is the most avowedly pro-European of the big three, but that is not a terribly popular position, especially in some of the south-western seats where it is pretty strong.

So would the manifesto boldly proclaim their desire to take Britain into the euro at the earliest possible opportunity? Easy to find out one might think. Just turn to the section marked "Europe" - all 28 lines of it. But, well, there doesn't seem to be any mention of the euro at all. The only European policy the party wants to shout about is its desire to see "less waste and bureaucracy".

But wait, insisted the party leaders. The euro is in there. Really, one replies, where? As the answer to cryptic crossword clue?

No, they say defiantly, it's in the section on the economy. Ah well, then that's fair enough. So you turn to the section, assuming it will be pretty prominent, after all this is a pretty major policy and...now where is it? You know it's there somewhere. Ah yes, in a small box, near the bottom left hand corner of a page, marked "An outward looking economy" the commitment is more or less there.

Yet no-one seems to mind. Even during an election when TV channels have to pretend that the Lib Dems should be taken as seriously as the other two parties, you can tell their hearts are not in it. Where's the fun in catching out Charles Kennedy on policy if it just adds another few points to his support in the polls?

So the launch ends and Mr Kennedy is back on the road, or back home changing nappies, or on his battle bus, it doesn't matter. We see him, shaking hands, looking nice, not alienating anyone, sounding honest, making jokes, looking human. The more mistakes he makes the more the voters warm to him. It is sheer political genius.
 
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