[Mb-civic] A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN

[Jonathon Johnson]

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN

  Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his
morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging
liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.  With his first swallow
of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take
because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that
they work as advertised.

  All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical
plan  because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid
medical  insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning
breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some
girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

  In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is
properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents
because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was
putting on his body and how much it contained.

  Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes
is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to
stop industries from polluting our air.  He walks to the subway station for
his government-subsidized ride to work.  It saves him considerable money in
parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for
affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to
be a contributor.

  Joe begins his workday. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical
benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal
union members fought and died for these working standards. Joes employer
pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to
call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get
a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal
didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

  Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some
bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless
liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined
the banking system before the Great Depression.

  Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market
federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the
government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money
over his lifetime.

  Joe is home from work.  He plans to visit his father this evening at his
farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive.  His car is
among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought
for car safety standards.

  He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in
the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't
want to make rural loans.  The house didn't have electricity until some
big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded
rural electrification. He is happy to see his father, who is now retired.
His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some
wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of
himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

  Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk
show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives
are good.  He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought
against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

  Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our
lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take
care of themselves, just like I have."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Good HAIR Days: A Personal Journey with the American Tribal Love-Rock
Musical HAIR, by Jonathon Johnson. For more information on the book and how
to order it, visit www.goodhairdays.net <http://www.goodhairdays.net/> .
Visit our other websites at www.uversa.net <http://www.uversa.net/>  and
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