[Mb-civic] NYTimes.com Article: Dreaming in Kabul

Sat Oct 9 10:07:05 PDT 2004

The article below from NYTimes.com 
has been sent to you by michael at intrafi.com.

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Dreaming in Kabul

October 9, 2004
 By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF 

KABUL, Afghanistan 

I'm sorry, President Bush. Although I searched all over
Pakistan and Afghanistan, I couldn't find Osama bin Laden -
except in my dreams: 

There I was, checking my e-mail at a Starbucks in Kandahar,
when I spotted a slender 6-foot-5 figure in a burka, going
this way and that, obviously lost. There was a dead
giveaway - "she" wasn't asking for directions. Another clue
was the dialysis machine trailing behind. 

So I sat Osama down for an interview: 

ME: Tell me, which
candidate are you endorsing in the U.S. presidential
election? 

OSAMA: I try to be nonpartisan. But Al Qaeda will benefit
if Bush is re-elected, inshallah. 

Because Bush is no good at fighting terrorism? 

No, not at
all. Where's your objectivity? Even I know that journalists
are supposed to be fair, so show it, ya kalb! Bush did
plenty, beginning with his invasion of Afghanistan, which
sent me fleeing into Waziristan in the mountains of
Pakistan. Then he leaned on Musharraf to send troops into
Waziristan, sending me on the run again. 

Brass tacks: Easier or harder to hit the U.S. now?

Harder. Lots harder. Ayman wanted to drop sarin in New
York's subways, but Homeland Security tightened controls on
chemical precursors. With F.B.I. scrutiny, our sleeper
agents still have to sleep. We've talked about a dirty
bomb, but Bush tightened controls for radioactive
materials. Bush has actually done much more for security
than the Democrats give him credit for. 

So I don't get it. Why is Bush good for Al Qaeda?

Recruitment, recruitment, recruitment. Look, the biggest
challenge we face isn't getting chemical precursors. It's
getting recruits - and Bush has become our v.p. for
recruitment. 

Ayman made a PowerPoint chart showing our intake. You see
an uptick each time Bush embraces Ariel Sharon or talks
about a "crusade" - and Iraq, that was a real gift. That
new book by my nemesis at the C.I.A. got it just right.
Here it-- 

WATCH IT! Keep your hands where I can see 'em, or I'll blow
you away. 

You're not armed. Even I know that your paper bans
reporters from carrying guns. I'm just showing you a
photocopy from "Imperial Hubris." Remember, this is from
the C.I.A.'s top expert on Al Qaeda: "U.S. forces and
policies are completing the radicalization of the Islamic
world. ... I think it fair to conclude that the United
States of America remains bin Laden's only indispensable
ally." 

Have you seen the polls? People who like the U.S. are down
to 13 percent in Egypt and 3 percent in Saudi Arabia. Even
in Morocco and Jordan, two-thirds of the people say that
suicide bombings against Westerners are justifiable. 

So what's your strategic aim? To kill lots of Americans?

No. If we wanted to do that, we'd have our agents open up
McDonald's franchises. After all, by some accounts, excess
salt kills 150,000 Americans a year. No, our ultimate aim
is to recreate a powerful caliphate in a true Muslim
nation, one that doesn't kowtow to the Yankees. 

Which nation? And why bring baseball into it? 

Saudi
Arabia, if we topple the royals. Or Pakistan. We eliminate
Musharraf, and we'll have a real Islamic bomb. I won't have
to go begging for uranium or plutonium for my next attack
on America. 

Back up. Why would a new Pakistani government be Islamist?

Plenty of people in Pakistan, including in its intelligence
agency, already support me. That's how we plotted all those
assassination attempts against the traitor Musharraf, and
that's how I've stayed safe for three years. You infidels
thought I was hiding in an Afghan cave. I chuckled about
that as I watched TV in my safe house in Waziristan. 

Look, infidel, that's the most important reason I want a
Bush victory: the historic prize would be an Islamic
revolution in Saudi Arabia or Pakistan, and that would give
us a base and perhaps nuclear weapons. And Bush's talent
for antagonizing Muslims makes such a revolution more
likely. You know, I'm now a believer in Pakistani democracy
because a Pew poll found that only 7 percent of Pakistanis
have a favorable view of Bush, while 65 percent like me. 

So let the Pakistanis choose their own government! And
then, when I have my nuclear weapons, look out. Thank you,
President Bush! 

E-mail: nicholas at nytimes.com 

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/10/09/opinion/9kristof.html?ex=1098341625&ei=1&en=8593f13562d7257a

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