[Mb-civic] John Kerry's TRUE Concession Speech

[Reeeees at aol.com]

John Kerry's TRUE Concession Speech

My fellow Americans, the people of this nation have spoken, and spoken with a 
clear voice. So I am here to offer my concession.

I concede that I overestimated the intelligence of the American people.

Though the people disagree with the President on almost every issue, you saw 
fit to vote for him. I never saw that coming. That's really special. And I 
mean "special" in the sense that we use it to describe those kids who ride the 
short school bus and find ways to injure themselves while eating pudding with 
rubber spoons. That kind of special.

I concede that I misjudged the power of hate. That's pretty powerful stuff, 
and I didn't see it. So let me take a moment to congratulate the President's 
strategists: Putting the gay marriage amendments on the ballot in various swing 
states like Ohio... well, that was just genius. Genius. It got people, a 
certain kind of people, to the polls. The unprecedented number of folks who showed 
up and cited "moral values" as their biggest issue, those people changed 
history. The folks who consider same sex marriage a more important issue than war, 
or terrorism, or the economy... Who'd have thought the election would belong 
to them? Well, Karl Rove did. Gotta give it up to him for that.

[Boos.] Now, now. Credit where it's due.

I concede that I put too much faith in America's youth. With 8 out of 10 of 
you opposing the President, with your friends and classmates dying daily in a 
war you disapprove of, with your future being mortgaged to pay for rich old 
peoples' tax breaks, you somehow managed to sit on your asses and watch the 
Cartoon Network while aging homophobic hillbillies carried the day. You voted with 
the exact same anemic percentage that you did in 2000. You suck. Seriously, 
y'do.

[Cheers, applause] Thank you. Thank you very much.

There are some who would say that I sound bitter, that now is the time for 
healing, to bring the nation together.  Let me tell you a little story. Last 
night, I watched the returns come in with some friends from Los Angeles. As the 
night progressed, people began to talk half-seriously about secession, a red 
state / blue state split. The reasoning was this: We in blue states produce the 
vast majority of the wealth in this country and pay the most taxes, and you in 
the red states receive the majority of the money from those taxes while 
complaining about 'em. We in the blue states are the only ones who've been attacked 
by foreign terrorists, yet you in the red states are gung ho to fight a war 
in our name. We in the blue states produce the entertainment that you consume 
so greedily each day, while you in the red states show open disdain for us and 
our values. Blue state civilians are the actual victims and targets of the war 
on terror, while red state civilians are the ones standing behind us and 
yelling "Oh, yeah!? Bring it on!"

More than 40% of you Bush voters still believe that Saddam Hussein had 
something to do with 9/11. I'm impressed by that, truly I am. Your sons and 
daughters who might die in this war know it's not true, the people in the urban 
centers where Al Qaeda wants to attack know it's not true, but those of you who are 
at practically no risk believe this easy lie because you can. As part of my 
concession speech, let me say that I really envy that luxury. I concede that.

Healing? We, the people at risk from terrorists, the people who subsidize 
you, the people who speak in glowing and respectful terms about the heartland of 
America while that heartland insults and excoriates us... we wanted some 
healing. We spoke loud and clear. And you refused to give it to us, largely because 
of your high moral values. You knew better: America doesn't need its allies, 
doesn't need to share the burden, doesn't need to unite the world, doesn't 
need to provide for its future. Hell no. Not when it's got a human shield of 
pointy-headed, atheistic, unconfrontational breadwinners who are willing to pay 
the bills and play nice in the vain hope of winning a vote that we can never 
have. Because we're "morally inferior," I suppose, we are supposed to respect 
your values while you insult ours. And the big joke here is that for 20 years, 
we've done just that. It's not a "ha-ha" funny joke, I realize, but it's a joke 
all the same.

Today, I am also announcing my candidacy for President in 2008. And I make 
this pledge to you today: THIS time, next time, there will be no pandering. This 
time I will run with all the open and joking contempt for my opponents that 
our President demonstrated towards the cradle of liberty, the Ivy League 
intellectuals, the "media elite," and the "white-wine sippers." This time I will not 
pretend that the simple folk of America know just as much as the people who 
devote their lives to serving and studying the nation and the world. They 
don't. So that's why I'm asking for your vote in 2008, America. I'm talking to you, 
you ignorant, slack-jawed yokels, you bible-thumping, inbred drones; you 
redneck, racist, chest-thumping, perennially duped grade-school grads. Vote for 
me, because I know better, and I truly believe that I can help your smug, sorry 
asses.

Vote Kerry in '08!

Thank you, and may God, if (s)he does in fact exist, bless each and every one 
of you.

JK
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