[Mb-civic] Convention Agenda?

[Ian]

Disclaimer:  this was sent to me by a REPUBLICAN friend of a colleague of
mine from work...so who knows, it may be the ACTUAL agenda...

Republican National Convention Schedule: Revised, August 2004

6:00pm - Opening prayer
6:15pm - Supplementary opening prayer
6:30pm - Prayer in thanks of first two prayers
6:45pm - New energy policy presented by Exxon
7:00pm - Canonization of Reagan
7:15pm - Additional prayers
7:30pm - Opening remarks by Halliburton
8:00pm - Prayer for the safety and well-being of Ken "Kenny-boy" Lay
8:15pm - Additional remarks by Halliburton
8:30pm - Stoning of a homosexual
8:45pm - New healthcare polices presented by HMO leader, Kaiser Permanente
9:00pm - Invasion of Iran or North Korea (To be announced)
9:15pm - Halliburton contributes 1.4 billion to Republican party
9:30pm - Reagan elevated to savior; Holy Trinity now referred to as "the
quads"
9:45pm - Bush undergoes plastic surgery to look more like Reagan
10:00pm - Cheney runs into Ron Reagan, Jr. Tells him to go f*** himself
10:15pm - Recall of troops from accidental invasion of South Korea (Bush:
"Damn, the SOUTH is our ally.  My bad.")
10:30pm - Burning at the stake of 15 year-old Jenny Williams, who had an
illegal abortion after being raped by her cousin
10:45pm - Dancing around the golden calf
11:00pm - Stoning of the partner of the homosexual stoned earlier
11:15pm - New forestry policy presented by Weyerhaeuser
11:45pm - Thanking God for his wisdom in choosing Bush as president
12:00 midnight - Closing prayers (lasting until 2:00am)
2:00 am - Hookers arrive for all delegates

 ********************************************************************

 To all New Yorkers - good luck getting around town next week due to the
increased security required by the presence of God, who apparently is a
Republican.